YES! I’m elated that it’s a brand new year and that 2013, unlucky for some, including me, has kicked it to the kerb, or whatever it is they say. I know technically that you don’t need a brand new year for a brand new start, but it certainly helps, and the positive thinking is much easier when the slate is clean and ready for drawing much prettier pictures on. I don’t generally make new year resolutions because, weird as I am, I tend to want to rebel against them, even when I’ve set them for myself. I’m guessing this is also why diets never work for me…”sod you diet, I’m going to eat this chocolate bar. I might even have two, or three if I bloody feel like it. How’d you like that, eh?!?” You can see what I’m up against… So instead of having resolutions, I will tell you about things that I would be happy about, if they came to pass.
Firstly, I would like to lose weight. Preferably before I go to the UK this summer because I would like to get fitted for a bra without having to order five different sizes from the internet. I am currently 70 kilos, so ideally I’d be happy to get down to 60, but my pre-pregnancy weight of 63 would be nice. That’s 7 kilos in 6 months though, which might be hard going since I’m still breastfeeding (I always plateau when breastfeeding) and too exhausted for much exercise.
Secondly I would like to stop breastfeeding. I have enjoyed the ease of getting F off to sleep and letting her help herself while I sleep, and I know I’ll miss it a little bit, but wow these teeth are painful, and I really want my body back. It’s been 15 months now and it seems tapering off isn’t going so well. I feed her at 6ish, then most days not until 2 or 3 in the afternoon, 7 after bath and then ALL night it seems. I can no longer sleep during those oh so painful feedings where she just drops off enough to let go a little, then wakes suddenly and grabs the end of my nipple in those teeth..ouch. It would be nice to go all day without feeding, but I suppose I’m my own worst enemy, because I still like the closeness of nursing.
Finally I want to care less and be calmer. I’m pretty fiery. I have a longish fuse, but the end is very explosive, and I’m tired of shouting. I also don’t think it’s very successful. L gets all shouty when I do and then we kind of rile each other up. If I can keep my cool, we can really talk it out. This is probably the most important thing. The caring less is harder. I mull things over for days, weeks, months. A thoughtless comment from Y or a friend can have me in turmoil. I hate my sensitivity sometimes, although at others I love it, and I doubt this is something I can change anyway.
In the interests of positive thinking, I want to think of the good points of last year, since there must be plenty in amongst the crap.
H and L started swimming lessons and can now probably control their breathing underwater better than I can. At first I questioned all the underwater practice as opposed to actually learning swimming strokes, but they can now both swim and have a good basis for learning the strokes.
F learned to sit, crawl, stand and walk. Aren’t babies fantastic?!
I finally took control of the finances and worked it all out instead of floundering. for those who don’t know, I have pretty bad maths skills past basic calculations, so doing the budget is a long and tedious job for me, but after researching techniques and with some help from Y, I can start the New year with a view to save a lot more.
I started Japanese lessons. I gave up the free ones when I was pregnant and now I pay for a proper teacher to come to my house once a week. I have learned lots, and increased my kanji (Chinese characters) to about 120, which sounds a lot if you don’t live here, but is actually just the tip of the iceberg considering you need at least 2000 in daily life. BUT, now I can guess the meanings of characters more easily after learning the parts that are often repeated in other characters, and am much more confident at writing them too.
Well brand new year, all healthy and happy, full of hopes and positivity.
2014 HAS to be a good one, I know it!