Fed up

Am determined to write at least something today, to keep me blogging every other day. I’m totally fed up with summer, and am having to sit on a towel in my car to stop from sweating through after the kindy pick up in the afternoons. How gross is that?!? I’m fed up with being massive. My belly is now bigger than my boobs, which is quite an achievement, and I’m starting to really MISS being able to run a little, carry the washing up the stairs without needing a break halfway up and to just generally be more sprightly instead of dolloping along like a fat old woman.

Oh, and the mini chocolate assortment that made me buy it from Costco is even annoying me too. The twixes are all gone, the milky ways and milky way midnights are gone too…all that are left are bloody Snickers..God I hate Snickers, but still I’ve managed to eat at least six of them today. Ugh.

I started contracting today, to my surprise at 4pm, it kind of took my breath away. And I remembered that they start from my back and then I immediately wished I hadn’t asked for baby to hurry up when it all came flooding back what I was in store for. This went on for about two hours, while I was getting dinner ready and acting as mediator to my children, and biting my tongue when L threw a paddy because I wouldn’t let him have laughing cow cheese so close to dinner time.

“I HATE dinner!” he spat.
“Fine, don’t eat it then.” I managed without getting noticeably annoyed.

Later he slammed a door in my face and I smacked his bum and yelled at him. Then he cried, and I felt like the worst mother in the world. And we chatted and I told him to try not to take his anger out on me and H seeing as we are his friends and we just want to help him. He said he was just tired, and again I felt sorry for him because this morning he told me he didn’t want to go to nursery since he had no friends because they all want to play fighting games and he wants to play baker in the sandpit. But apparently the sandpit is muddy and full of leaves, so he plays with the dirt alone under the trees :(((((( and he just wanted to stay with Mummy. God that boy knows how to tear at my heart strings…I think a lot of it must be crap though, seeing as he was so happy when I picked him up today..ah to be a cicada on a nursery tree…

Anyway, to sleep, hospital tomorrow. Happy days…

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