FED UP. Ah yes, the final few weeks (three to six) have got me again. I’m ready to
say goodbye to my pregnant body
say hello to my baby girl
say hello to my new hospital
say goodbye to summer holidays
say goodbye to sticky summer weather
say hello to labour (yes, even that)
say various expletives to my husband and any other f**ker who gets in my way during above
say goodbye to my relatively sane non-pregnant two children life
say goodbye to my husband (oops, no, of course that was a mistake..)
First of all, I’m so very glad I signed the children up for ten days of summer school. However, had I known how long, hot and tough this summer holiday was going to be, I would have signed up for the full twenty, or at least fifteen. Last week they were there for four days. Even four days of preparing their stuff and them, bentos and taking them there doesn’t compare to being at home all day with them.
*I’d like to point out here, that unless you have children of your own (and I mean older than two year olds), have nobody to help you, and a weekend husband you have no right to judge me for speaking ill of spending time with my children.*
This week, they went to summer school on Monday. It’s now Friday, day four of being at home with Mummy, and Mummy has had enough. Now if I weren’t pregnant, I’d probably be a bit fed up, but at least I’d have energy and be able to see my feet to know that I wasn’t treading on a plastic rhino beetle or a cast iron Thomas the bloody Tank Engine. Plus my son has decided to go into “boy” mode and run around screaming “gokaijaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” even though he has never seen an episode. I blame nursery for this. That is all I blame nursery for. Right now, nursery is my church.
I am also fed up of hearing from people with either no children, one child, or two children saying they understand how I feel and that they remember my situation. I’m sorry, I know it’s not a contest, but that’s a bit how it feels at times. They have no more right to tell me that, just as I have no right to say that to a mother of three.
I read once that having a first baby is the hardest to cope with, and going from one to two is not so different, etc. etc. I’d like to say this is complete bollocks. When L was born, H was 20 months old. She couldn’t talk, she was crazy hyper (ALL of my children are hyper..what’s up with that?!?!), and I found even bathing together was a nightmare. I didn’t really think of the logistics. Hold a baby in the shower while sitting on the bath stool, don’t drop baby, wash one year old’s hair and body, wash self, wash own hair while holding baby…hmm…dry baby, dry one year old, dry self. It was all very complicated for me. One baby was much easier, and that’s not even in retrospect.
So I’m slightly apprehensive this time too. Although I have my church..the church of nursery, I’m hoping this will make life at least a little simpler from 9-2:30 every day.
We actually had quite a nice day on Tuesday. We made a meal plan for the week together, went shopping for ingredients, ate lunch and ice cream, painted, and the children played on their bikes outside in the early evening. This isn’t so bad, I thought. I had managed to get minimal housework done, so felt quite proud of the day.
On Wednesday, I made packed lunches and we headed for the indoor play area. After seeing that the car park was closed for repairs, and parking in the 300 yen per hour (hey, that’s a lot for Gunma) supermarket car park, we found the indoor play area closed…of course it was all Mummy’s fault. So we drove to Luna Park, a fabulous amusement park that’s been around for about 50 years and has rides starting at 10 yen. We took our lunch and went to my husband’s office to eat together. This was a mistake. Although it’s a public building, it’s not very child-friendly, and Y was embarrassed that the children were wanting to run around. I suppose it IS his office, but I was a bit annoyed that he didn’t think about the fact that we can’t really expect a 4 and 5 year old to completely understand things like that.
Yesterday the weather was relatively cool (31 degrees), so we went to the local park in the morning for an hour and a half. It was nice to get out and see the children having fun without dripping with sweat or being able to cut the air with a knife. But when we got home, it all started going downhill. They were tired out, and I don’t have tired children who lay down and go to sleep (these people are few and far between I think), I have children who grizzle and grouse and moan about not having anything to do despite having a playroom full of toys. So I make suggestions and they get knocked down one by one. And then L wants to sit on my lap..then H..and I barely have a lap. As I type now, I have L by my side tugging at my arm complaining that he’s hungry and that I never give him anything. And that he doesn’t like the current mouse pad and he wants the old one back, and why didn’t we keep all the big boxes we ever had because he wants to make a robot…NOWWWW!!!
I want a new job.
So I’m trying hard to tell myself that I can usually cope with this. Being pregnant and being hot isn’t helping, but life WILL be better. My husband told the kids that he’ll play with them tomorrow, but I have more hopes that he will do some housework for me first…I can hope, right (or nag and yell)?
I have been having cramps since yesterday, but I’m only 34 weeks and am still technically between hospitals until next Thursday, so as much as I’ve had enough of being pregnant, baby needs to stay in until preferably 37 weeks, but I might just accept 36..at a push. Please no later than 40…
So here I come today. Emptying the dishwasher and doing the laundry, then it’s time for my only sin…coffee. Coffee makes the world seem at least a little less foggy..