From two to three (or three to four if you count my husband)

FED UP.  Ah yes, the final few weeks (three to six) have got me again.  I’m ready to

say goodbye to my pregnant body

say hello to my baby girl

say hello to my new hospital

say goodbye to summer holidays

say goodbye to sticky summer weather

say hello to labour (yes, even that)

say various expletives to my husband and any other f**ker who gets in my way during above

say goodbye to my relatively sane non-pregnant two children life

say goodbye to my husband (oops, no, of course that was a mistake..)

First of all, I’m so very glad I signed the children up for ten days of summer school.  However, had I known how long, hot and tough this summer holiday was going to be, I would have signed up for the full twenty, or at least fifteen.  Last week they were there for four days.  Even four days of preparing their stuff and them, bentos and taking them there doesn’t compare to being at home all day with them.

*I’d like to point out here, that unless you have children of your own (and I mean older than two year olds), have nobody to help you, and a weekend husband  you have no right to judge me for speaking ill of spending time with my children.*

This week, they went to summer school on Monday.  It’s now Friday, day four of being at home with Mummy, and Mummy has had enough.  Now if I weren’t pregnant, I’d probably be a bit fed up, but at least I’d have energy and be able to see my feet to know that I wasn’t treading on a plastic rhino beetle or a cast iron Thomas the bloody Tank Engine.  Plus my son has decided to go into “boy” mode and run around screaming “gokaijaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” even though he has never seen an episode.  I blame nursery for this.  That is all I blame nursery for.  Right now, nursery is my church.

I am also fed up of hearing from people with either no children, one child, or two children saying they understand how I feel and that they remember my situation.  I’m sorry, I know it’s not a contest, but that’s a bit how it feels at times.  They have no more right to tell me that, just as I have no right to say that to a mother of three.

I read once that having a first baby is the hardest to cope with, and going from one to two is not so different, etc. etc.  I’d like to say this is complete bollocks.  When L was born, H was 20 months old.  She couldn’t talk, she was crazy hyper (ALL of my children are hyper..what’s up with that?!?!), and I found even bathing together was a nightmare.  I didn’t really think of the logistics.  Hold a baby in the shower while sitting on the bath stool, don’t drop baby, wash one year old’s hair and body, wash self, wash own hair while holding baby…hmm…dry baby, dry one year old, dry self.  It was all very complicated for me.  One baby was much easier, and that’s not even in retrospect.

So I’m slightly apprehensive this time too.  Although I have my church..the church of nursery, I’m hoping this will make life at least a little simpler from 9-2:30 every day.

We actually had quite a nice day on Tuesday.  We made a meal plan for the week together, went shopping for ingredients, ate lunch and ice cream, painted, and the children played on their bikes outside in the early evening.  This isn’t so bad, I thought.  I had managed to get minimal housework done, so felt quite proud of the day.

On Wednesday, I made packed lunches and we headed for the indoor play area.  After seeing that the car park was closed for repairs, and parking in the 300 yen per hour (hey, that’s a lot for Gunma) supermarket car park, we found the indoor play area closed…of course it was all Mummy’s fault.  So we drove to Luna Park, a fabulous amusement park that’s been around for about 50 years and has rides starting at 10 yen.  We took our lunch and went to my husband’s office to eat together.  This was a mistake.  Although it’s a public building, it’s not very child-friendly, and Y was embarrassed that the children were wanting to run around.  I suppose it IS his office, but I was a bit annoyed that he didn’t think about the fact that we can’t really expect a 4 and 5 year old to completely understand things like that.

Yesterday the weather was relatively cool (31 degrees), so we went to the local park in the morning for an hour and a half.  It was nice to get out and see the children having fun without dripping with sweat or being able to cut the air with a knife.  But when we got home, it all started going downhill.  They were tired out, and I don’t have tired children who lay down and go to sleep (these people are few and far between I think), I have children who grizzle and grouse and moan about not having anything to do despite having a playroom full of toys.  So I make suggestions and they get knocked down one by one.  And then L wants to sit on my lap..then H..and I barely have a lap.  As I type now, I have L by my side tugging at my arm complaining that he’s hungry and that I never give him anything.  And that he doesn’t like the current mouse pad and he wants the old one back, and why didn’t we keep all the big boxes we ever had because he wants to make a robot…NOWWWW!!!

I want a new job.

So I’m trying hard to tell myself that I can usually cope with this.  Being pregnant and being hot isn’t helping, but life WILL be better.  My husband told the kids that he’ll play with them tomorrow, but I have more hopes that he will do some housework for me first…I can hope, right (or nag and yell)?

I have been having cramps since yesterday, but I’m only 34 weeks and am still technically between hospitals until next Thursday, so as much as I’ve had enough of being pregnant, baby needs to stay in until preferably 37 weeks, but I might just accept 36..at a push.  Please no later than 40…

So here I come today.  Emptying the dishwasher and doing the laundry, then it’s time for my only sin…coffee.  Coffee makes the world seem at least a little less foggy..

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4 thoughts on “From two to three (or three to four if you count my husband)

  1. God I hated being pregnant in summer. Marina was born at the end of October so a couple of weeks later than your due date I think and July – Sep was shit house. And I totally agree. Getting ‘advice’ from parents who have not been through what stage you are at, with the same number of children (cause thats a huge factor. Lunatic fours is so much more crazy if you have a five year old telling you to piss off and that he hates you ever two minutes, or otherwise trying to sneak the saw out of the shed so he can chop down the tree, and a three year old, who well cute, still needs you to help him do everything. Advice from my sister in law is the worse – she used to be a nanny to kids the same age as mine. LOL – I’d have such better mothering tools in my box, so to speak, if I could give them back at 5pm every night 🙂

    Good luck with the rest of the summer holidays. I agree – you should have got the kids in for twenty days. You can’t change it?

    Hope hub pulls through and gets up, feeds the kids, makes you a roaringly strong coffee before hanging out the washing and taking the kids to the park.

    xxx

    • Thanks, I had just completely forgotten about the end of pregnancy, and possibly pregnancy in general….those damned duping hormones. H was born 15th September and this one is due 20th September. L was born at the end of June, meaning that I escaped being pregnant in summer, but found summer with a newborn pretty difficult, especially the sweaty outdoor feeds and forget babywearing! So this time I kind of planned it this way again, forgetting the horror that is summer, huge bump and no lung space. Oh, and the advice from your SIL…oh my God…that would tip me over the edge!

  2. Yeah, I don’t think anybody really can tell somebody what they are feeling/experience is wrong regardless of being in the same situation, some number of kids etc. Because honestly nothing is ever going to be the same – the children’s temperament comes into play as does your own, the number of kid you have, the place you live, the support network you have and I could probably list a lot more variables.

    Just as some people would say having two kids is easy I am finding it really difficult. Like your two Leilah is hyperactive. She is stubborn, strong willed and fearless. She tests her boundaries more than most. Being a mother of 2 is harder than I ever thought it would be…

    Good luck for the final stretch…

    • Nay, you are on the money there. H was a really “easy” baby. Typical really seeing as I had all the time in the world to look after her and only her. She grizzled a bit and was colicky and wriggly, but relatively speaking, she was very good, and still is. L is (and I don’t like to say difficult) “high need”. In my experience of being around my nephews, I have to say that boys in general are much clingier than girls anyway. He basically fed and pooed for the first year of his life. He was like a limpet, hated my husband, wouldn’t drink from a bottle, take a dummy or be held by anyone except me. Now that they are both that little bit older, they are both demanding in their own ways, but H is much more likely to see reason and to talk it out. L is a bit like I was sadly, strong-willed, short tempered and stubborn. H is bossy, sticks to the rules, but more easy going, so they do get on ok most of the time. I’d say these days, them together is harder than them on their own as they’re starting to stand their ground a bit more. Plus they are together all the time…must get annoying.

      So after all that waffling, my point is that sometimes having one child is tougher for one person than another, that I can accept, although in terms of logistics, the more children you have, the more work you have. Two can play together (you’ll get to that stage, it’s lovely!), but also argue together. I’ve been a referree this holiday! Having two children is tough, I think. Three is bound to be tougher…this is DEFINITELY my last one!!!

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