Stress, Wedding Anniversaries and Panic Attacks…

Oh dear, I’m not going to comment too  much on my lack of blogs recently, only to say that I’m annoyed with myself and have no real excuses…

So this weekend marks our fifth wedding anniversary 02/04/06, pretty easy to remember eh?  Plus the fact that it’s the day after April Fool’s Day…and I have to say, that was thankfully an uneventful event here.  I hate April Fool’s Day, although I did shake my husband awake and mutter, “it’s 10:30”, to which his eyes popped open before he punched me in the arm and muttered some obscenities back before disappearing under the covers for  more zeds.

We had planned to go out on Saturday night to celebrate.  My gym was closed (not that that would have stopped me, but you know, nice to party without feeling guilty!), we could hopefully get MIL to babysit, so all the timings were right and we were going to go out somewhere nice to eat.  Then on Friday evening, after a particularly stressful day with the children, although thinking about it now, I think it had just been a tiring day and we spent a lot of time in the garden, so we were all tired out from the activities and fresh air…Ok, back to my point…After a TIRING day with the children, Y called and said that he had to work on Sunday.  Hmmmm, “didn’t you work on Sunday a couple of weeks ago?”

“Yes,” he replied, “it’s my turn.”

Me: “So you have to work Sundays now?”

Y:  “We have to have someone in the office on Sundays since the earthquake.”

Me:  “How many people work in your group?”

Y:  “six”

Me:  “So how can it be your turn again?”

Y:  “Erm, my boss asked me”

Me:  “You know I have work, right?”

Y:  “Oh!  I forgot.”

So I had a bit of a hissy fit, said I didn’t want to go out and celebrate on Saturday night anyway because he would have to get home early to be able to get up in the morning for work and I felt bad asking MIL to take care of the children twice.  Plus I didn’t really feel much like celebrating at this point anyway.

After getting off the phone, I had a really bad pain in my stomach.  Thinking it felt like the stomach ulcer I had in the past, I tried to calm down a little bit, although that didn’t really work out too well.  The children and I took a bath, I got a bit angry with them for playing up, then I had a bit of a cry and we all had a cuddle, stories and off to bed. 

Y sent me an e-mail saying that he’d managed to switch his shift with his co-worker, which was really nice, but at that time, I was just fed up with it all.  I went to sleep.  Then about an hour later, I woke again, feeling nauseous and with stomach pains.  The whole night was pretty much like that.  I woke several times with pain and nausea, and finally went downstairs at around 6.  It wasn’t long until L came down to find me, and found me curled over the back of the sofa asking him to go and tell Daddy I had a tummyache.  After he’d clarified how to say that in Daddy’s language, off he went.  We decided to go to the doctors, after my SIL kindly offered to come and watch the children (at 8a.m. after a night of drinking…saint).  Y frantically searched for the “best” doctors on the net. 

 “I found an internal doctor who is also a pain doctor.”  he announced.

“Aren’t all doctors pain doctors?!?”  I snapped back (I am a terrible patient)

I said I preferred to see our old doctor because although she is not necessarily a great doctor, she is nice, and she speaks English.  And I needed somebody to be nice.  And to speak English.

So off we went.  We started talking about my stomach.  And that it was probably stress, and then as I was listing up the things that were stressing me out lately, I suddenly couldn’t breathe.  I was sobbing, and gasping, and shaking, hands tingling.  I asked Y for a paper bag. 

“How about a plastic bag?” he offered.

“I don’t want to die!” I gasped.

He found one of those A4 envelopes with a window in it, and that seemed to work well.  So after a few minutes of inhaling my own breath I’d seemed to have calmed down.  When we got to the doctors we had to wait a while, which was fun with stomach pains, but in all fairness, they were not terribly bad, but bad enough to be uncomfortable.  I asked Y to wait in the waiting room.  He often comes into the docs with me, but seeing as this one speaks English, and I am not 5, I thought I could handle it better by myself.  So I told the doctor everything being careful not to miss anything out.  I was calm and collected.  And then she looked at me with her kind eyes (damn those kind eyes) and said, “are you feeling a bit stressed?” and then I started to cry.  In front of my doctor.  Ugh.  Thankfully she was very nice, although that made me cry more.

I got an X-ray during which the doctor and nurse admired my breasts (I was fully clothed)…slightly odd…what to say..?  Then doc. showed my gut which was FULL of air bubbles.  Turns out that the build up of air had caused a bowel infection and inflammation of my intestine.  Yuk…She gave me six different kind of meds and said I’d be fine after all that, but to take it easy and call her if I had anymore pain. 

That afternoon, my temp hit 38.5, which is really high for me.  I don’t often get a fever, and don’t really cope very well with one either.  Today thankfully the fever is gone, but I cancelled my lessons this afternoon, after serious deliberation.  I really want to get better before I jump into things again, and I’m still a bit fragile.  I’m starting up the yoga again when I’m well, and going to try not to stress out so much.  Tips please!!!

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4 thoughts on “Stress, Wedding Anniversaries and Panic Attacks…

  1. Such a sucky weekend all round! 😦

    You definitely need to take care of yourself before heading back to the gym and your lessons- I had a stomach ulcer once and it was not pretty. Glad it is not that this time but still sounds extremely painful/crappy! Hope you feel 100 percent again soon!

    Thanks for your recent comment on my blog about patience. It is nice to know that others feels the same- you always seem so put together and such a fantastic mum to your kids and as much s it sucks that you are stressed it does make me feel slightly better than I am not the only one. Big hugs coming your way from Chiba!

    I have to say though it was cute when you wrote that L wanted to clarify how to say “mummy has a tummyache” in daddy`s language before he went to tell him. Too cute!

  2. Thanks Lulu, these weekends happen, eh?! I have definitely got over the delayed anniversary celebrations! I started back at the gym on Monday, but it wasn’t really too much. I walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes. Not too fast, not too slow. Then sat on the massage chair for 10 minutes (a real massage would’ve been better), then home again. Yesterday had a little jog and walked again, that’s it. No weights, no sweating. I feel better for it, and it does help to beat the stress, but you are right, I have to look after myself more. In terms of pain, I’d say the ulcer and this are pretty similar. That’s why I thought it was the same thing 😦

    Always love reading your blog. And you know the funny thing…? YOU always seem so put together and a fantastic mum to your kids. So your recent post made me feel probably the way you felt when you read mine. I think we should all document our crappy days more, ha ha! Seriously, I wouldn’t consider myself put together at all! Your little lists on facebook get me panicing about how little I’ve done in the day sometimes, ha ha! But I know you like to document, and I like to read it too.

    Thanks for stopping by!

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